In my previous post, I highlighted the challenges of working with colleagues who lack self-awareness. In this post, I share some useful insights from Dr Tasha Eurich on this subject. If you employ staff who self- sabotage because they lack self-awareness, her suggestions on how to help others understand themselves may be helpful.
According to Eurich, organisational psychologist, researcher and author of ‘Insight: The Power of Self‑Awareness in a Self‑Deluded World‘, 95% of people believe they’re self‑aware. In reality, her research shows the true figure is closer to 10–15%. That’s a sobering gap. And it matters, because as Eurich says, it’s hard to excel or improve without self‑awareness.
I’ve seen this play out numerous times. Talented people are held back not by lack of ability, but by blind spots they didn’t know they had. The encouraging part is that self‑awareness is something Eurich says we can all develop. Here’s how.
What Self‑Awareness Is
Tasha describes self‑awareness as “the will and skills to see ourselves clearly.” It has two parts:
- Internal self‑awareness — knowing who we are, what we want and the patterns that shape our behaviour.
- External self‑awareness — understanding how others see us and the impact we have on them.
Both are important, and depending on how much of each we have, we tend to fall into one of four archetypes.
The Four Self‑Awareness Archetypes
1. Seekers
Low internal and low external self‑awareness. Seekers don’t yet have a clear picture of who they are or how others experience them. They’re at the very start of their self‑awareness journey.
2. Introspectors
High internal but low external self‑awareness. Introspectors know themselves well but are often surprised by others’ reactions. They may feel certain a promotion is theirs, while colleagues can clearly see why it wasn’t.
3. Pleasers
Low internal but high external self‑awareness. Pleasers are very tuned in to what others expect, sometimes at the expense of their own needs and values. Their work is to look inward as well as outward.
4. Self‑Aware
High in both internal and external self‑awareness. This is the 10–15% who see themselves clearly and understand their impact on others.
Building Internal Self‑Awareness
Eurich’s’s research shows that sitting alone thinking about ourselves doesn’t automatically lead to insight. In fact, she advises against asking “Why?” questions. They tend to reinforce our own biases or send us down unhelpful paths.
For example:
“Why didn’t I get that job?” can quickly become “That manager has never liked me.” or “I’m hopeless in interviews.”
This kind of introspection is disempowering; analysis = paralysis.
A better approach is to ask “What?” questions, which move us towards clarity and action:
- “What makes me nervous in these situations?”
- “What would help me feel more confident next time?”
- “What could I have done differently to improve my chances?”
“What?” questions give you something constructive to work with and help expand your internal self‑awareness.
Asa a line manager, if you need to have conversations around performance of team members, then ‘what?‘ questions can be a helpful way to help hold the mirror up.
Building External Self‑Awareness
Improving external self‑awareness takes courage, openness and humility. It means being willing to hear how others truly experience us—something that can feel uncomfortable but is invaluable for growth.
Two practical ways to do this:
1. 360‑Degree Feedback
If your organisation offers it, 360 feedback can be a rich source of insight. Because responses are anonymised, people tend to be more honest. Choose people who will give you balanced, constructive feedback—not flattery and not character assassination.
2. Peer Feedback
Eurich offers a free entry‑level Insights quiz. You and a friend each complete a questionnaire and receive an overview of your self‑awareness levels. It’s a simple, low‑pressure way to start exploring how others see you.
Final Thoughts
Interestingly, research shows that the more senior the leader, the less self‑aware they tend to be. Perhaps people feel less able to offer honest and potentially career‑limiting feedback once you hit the dizzy heights of senior leadership roles. But none of us are ever fully self‑aware. We all have blind spots, and we continue to grow throughout our lives.
If you’d like to explore this further, Tasha Eurich’s TED Talk is well worth a look.