As a former leader and manager, I often reflect on the teams I’ve led and the people I’ve worked with. I asked myself what made certain individuals stand out. Is there a magic formula for a model employee? What behaviours help create a positive working environment?
I’ve spent most of my working life in management and leadership roles, working with many different teams and countless individuals. If you’re reading this as a leader, I’m sure you’ve worked with some fabulous people. If you’re lucky, you may even hit the sweet spot now and again—leading a dream team for a while. I’ve been fortunate enough to experience this on several occasions. But in reality, every “perfect” team is made up of complex, unique individuals, each with their own values and priorities. These don’t always align neatly with the purpose of your team or the direction you’re required to move in.
The attribute that underpins everything
From my experience, one attribute sits at the heart of a positive team culture. It underpins almost every other positive behaviour; self-awareness.
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to accurately understand your emotions, behaviours, strengths, limitations, and values—and to recognise how these influence the people you work with. It’s about knowing yourself clearly and understanding the impact you have on those around you.
In my experience, lack of self-awareness, has the biggest negative impact on both the team and the individual themselves. If you can’t perceive how your behaviour and attitude land with others, becoming part of a team becomes a significant challenge. What you believe you’re contributing and how that contribution is actually received can be two very different things.
Some examples I’ve witnessed
- Always being the first to express opinions in meetings
- Volunteering for every project without considering that others may also be interested in the opportunity
- Comparing your output with your colleagues to demonstrate how hard you’re working
- Responding to a colleague’s distress by recounting how well you handled a similar situation, rather than showing empathy
- Expressing anger about a change in team direction without acknowledging the position of colleagues whose roles are being made redundant
Why self-regulation matters
The ability to self-regulate your thoughts and opinions—to read a room and gauge the emotional temperature — is invaluable. You’ll sense when something feels “off.” You’ll know when to check in with a colleague who seems low. You’ll be able to flag these things diplomatically to a busy line manager who may have missed them.
The career-limiting effects
Ultimately, a lack of self-awareness is career-limiting. Individuals who are missing it it often have an inflated sense of their own abilities. They’re quick to take credit but slow to acknowledge the contributions of others. They can be defensive when given feedback and often struggle to appreciate different perspectives. They are, in many ways, emotionally tone deaf—and this will hold them back.
What leaders can do
For leaders, these individuals sit firmly in the “high maintenance” category. They can consume a disproportionate amount of your time and energy. It’s important to address unwanted or inappropriate behaviours with specific examples. Set very clear expectations around outputs and team behaviours. Establish boundaries. Discuss the impact of their behaviour so they can understand how it lands.
Clarity is essential. Prepare well for meetings and share agendas in advance. Follow up to check understanding and confirm agreed actions.
Document expectations in writing to ensure the individual has understood. Hopefully you won’t need to escalate matters formally as a capability or attitudinal issue—but from personal experience, it’s always wise to have everything recorded just in case.
In summary
In the end, teams thrive not because everyone is perfect, but because people are willing to understand themselves and the impact they have on others. Self-awareness isn’t a nice-to-have; it’s the foundation on which trust, collaboration, and genuine growth are built. As leaders, we can nurture it, model it, and create the conditions for it—but each individual has to choose it for themselves. When they do, the whole team feels the difference.
You can’t improve what you don’t acknowledge. Michael Hyatt