Dealing with a toxic colleague is one of the most challenging aspects of professional life. Their negative behaviour can create stress, drain your energy, and tempt you to respond in kind. In particular, at times of organisational stress, such as restructures and the threat of redundancies, bad behaviours can be amplified.
However, maintaining your professionalism and integrity while protecting yourself is not only possible—it’s essential for your career success and mental well-being.
Recognise the signs early
Toxic colleagues exhibit patterns of behaviour that include undermining colleagues, taking credit for others’ work, spreading gossip, being consistently negative, or creating unnecessary drama. They may also display passive-aggressive tendencies, refuse to collaborate effectively, or consistently blame others for their mistakes. Recognising these behaviours early helps you prepare appropriate responses rather than being caught off guard.
Set clear boundaries
Establishing firm boundaries is your first line of defence. Be polite but direct about what you will and won’t tolerate. If a colleague interrupts you constantly in meetings, calmly say, “I’d like to finish my suggestion before hearing your input.” When someone tries to dump their work on you, respond with, “I have my own priorities to manage right now, but perhaps we can discuss this with our line manager.”
Boundaries also mean limiting personal information you share. Toxic colleagues often use personal details as ammunition later, so keep conversations professional and surface-level.
Document everything
Keep detailed records of interactions with toxic colleagues, especially when their behaviour affects your work or well-being. Save emails, note dates and times of conversations, and document any incidents that could impact your performance or reputation. This documentation serves two purposes: it provides clarity when emotions run high, and it offers protection if you need to escalate the situation to management.
Focus on your own behaviour
The most important strategy is maintaining your own professional standards regardless of how others behave. Resist the urge to gossip about the toxic colleague, even when others invite you to join in. Avoid responding to their negativity with your own sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments. Instead, model the behaviour you want to see in your workplace.
When they try to provoke you, take a moment to breathe before responding. Use neutral language and stick to facts rather than emotions. For example, instead of saying, “You always interrupt me,” try, “I noticed you interrupted me several times in yesterday’s meeting, so I was unable to get my points across.”
Use strategic communication
Develop communication techniques that protect you while keeping interactions professional. The “grey rock” method can be effective—respond with minimal emotion and brief, factual answers that don’t give them material to work with. When they complain or try to draw you into drama, respond with phrases like, “That sounds frustrating” or “I see” without offering solutions or engaging deeply.
For important conversations, consider having witnesses present or following up with email summaries. This creates accountability and reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings or misrepresentations later.
Build strong relationships with others
Cultivate positive relationships with other colleagues, supervisors, and stakeholders. These relationships serve as a buffer against toxic behaviour and provide you with allies who understand your work ethic and character. When you have strong professional relationships, one person’s negative opinion carries less weight.
Participate in team activities when possible, offer help to colleagues when you can, and maintain a reputation for reliability and professionalism. This network becomes invaluable if the toxic colleague tries to undermine you or spread false information.
Know when to escalate
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the situation requires intervention from management or HR. Consider escalation when the toxic behaviour directly impacts your ability to do your job, creates a hostile work environment, or violates company policies. Present your concerns objectively, focusing on specific behaviours and their impact on work rather than personality conflicts.
Before escalating, ensure you’ve attempted to address the issue directly (when safe and appropriate) and have documentation to support your concerns. Be prepared to suggest solutions, not just present problems.
Protect your mental health
Working with toxic colleagues takes an emotional toll. Develop healthy coping strategies outside of work, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family. Your organisation may subscribe to an employee support service. Consider speaking with a therapist or counsellor if the stress becomes overwhelming.
Practice stress-reduction techniques during the workday, such as deep breathing exercises or brief walks. Remember that you can’t control their behaviour, but you can control your response to it.
Play the long game
Remember that toxic behaviour often catches up with people eventually. Focus on doing excellent work, maintaining your reputation, and building your career. Most organisations eventually recognise and address truly toxic employees, especially when their behaviour affects team productivity and morale.
Stay committed to your values and professional growth. The skills you develop in handling difficult people will serve you well throughout your career, making you a stronger leader and more resilient professional.
However, if your organisation shows little appetite for dealing with the toxic individual, you may need to consider moving on for your own health and wellbeing. Dealing with a toxic colleague takes its toll not only on you, but organisationally it’s time-consuming, costly and draining for others. It takes guts – and not everyone will want to take the colleague on. It’s neither right nor fair, but that can be the reality. Make sure you do what you have to do to look after yourself.
By maintaining your integrity while protecting yourself, you demonstrate the kind of leadership and character that organisations value—and that’s the best long-term strategy for career success.
Resources
www.verywellmind.com offers further insights.
Toxic Work Environment Affects Mental Health
When workplace stress becomes a lifestyle, it’s no longer a job; it’s a health hazard.” Simon Sinek