Why telling your story is so powerful

You have a compelling story to tell. And not just the one. As you navigate your way through life’s highs and lows, your stories become richer and more complex. Your narrative evolves as your perspective shifts.

I’ve been privileged to hear many stories from female guest speakers who have attended women- only development programmes and events. Don’t underestimate the power of not only hearing others’ stories, but of sharing your own. There is something uniquely powerful in the emotional connection created through storytelling.

I was surprised and flattered to find myself on the receiving end of an invitation to tell my own story to a women’s professional group. My initial reaction was to ask myself ‘why me? What will other women gain from hearing about me?’ Then I gave myself a good talking to and set about preparing.

Speakers who may normally feel comfortable presenting in a professional context can feel less comfortable with self-disclosure. You’re giving something of yourself, which requires a degree of courage and trust that the audience will be there with you and supportive.

I must say, I found the experience cathartic. The process of reflecting on what I’d done, why I did what I did, how I survived and came through my experiences stronger and wiser was a valuable one. A willingness to share draws people to you and creates empathy and connection with your audience.

The most compelling speakers I’ve heard (and learned from) have been willing to share their vulnerabilities. Hearing stories from  successful female leaders who have experienced personal challenges and distress, who have made errors of judgement, experienced relationship breakdowns or been treated badly at work is powerful. The audience hears that real people don’t have perfect career trajectories and ‘happy ever after’ endings. They learn how the story teller has developed her determination, reflected on failure, picked herself up and carried on despite the challenges she’s faced. Your response to the challenges you’ve faced may well motivate others to take action in areas of their lives.

Questions to consider if you are asked to share your story.

1. Who is your audience?
2. Is there a theme? This can help you decide how to construct your story
3. What are you happy to share? It’s not a confessional, so if you’re not comfortable then there’s no need to disclose.
4. How long do you have? It’s surprisingly easy to find yourself carried away when telling your story and to lose track of time- so worth rehearsing what you plan to say to ensure you stick to the time.
5. Will you use power point or visual aids? Often the best stories are spoken from the heart and don’t rely on slides. However on occasion I have seen visual images amplify key messages effectively. Go with what you feel comfortable with.

The lifeline

Create a timeline on which to capture your major life events- good and bad- from birth to the present day. Draw a horizonal line across the middle of the page.  Capture dates left to right. The vertical access represents the scale of bad (bottom) to good (top).  Events above the line you’ve drawn are successes and things that have brought you happiness. Below the line, disappointments, sadness, illness. Plot key events and then join the dots. Most people will have a zig-zag line that goes up and down.

Take time to reflect on your disappointments, sadness and failures.

• What have you learned from them?
• How have you changed?
• What have you done differently as a result?

How you’ve grown through what life has thrown at you is what the audience will be most  interested in. They will connect with you through the challenges you’ve experienced, but will learn most from how you’ve responded to them.

See also my post on how to deliver a compelling presentation

The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action and reason leads to conclusions.  Donald Caine