Whether you choose to make a change to your career, or whether you have no choice in the matter, the process of making the change is remarkably similar.
Understanding when you make a major change that there is a process we all go through can be reassuring. It also helps to explain the range of feelings we may experience.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross designed the Change Curve to explain the stages we go through when grieving the loss of a loved one. If you’ve been through this experience then the 7 stages outlined will feel familiar.
The Change Curve also has useful applications for all life’s major changes- whether these are things we want and have initiated or things we haven’t. Getting married, divorced, having children, moving house and changing careers all follow a similar process. If you’ve experienced one or more of these, you will recognise your experience of it in the diagram.
The 7 stages of the Change Curve
1. Shock, surprise
Shock and surprise in response to the situation. e.g. ‘OMG, I got the job!‘ or ‘I can’t believe it- I’ve just been made redundant!‘
2. Denial
Where you go into denial and can’t believe what’s happening. e.g. an internal promotion. ‘I don’t expect much will change.’ Or, in response to losing a job. ‘I can’t believe they’ve done this to me!’
3. Frustration
As the reality sinks in, experiencing anxiety or anger. ‘Oh God, what have I done? Why did I think I could do this?‘ Or ‘Why me? There are plenty of others they could have picked on.’
4. Depression.
‘It’s not the same! I thought my colleagues were my friends but now I have to manage them it’s really hard.’ Or ‘I’ll never work again- who will employ me?’
5. Experiments
Stage 4 is so depressing that most of us will want to pull ourselves out of it and try another approach. ‘I need to give this a proper go- no one said it would be easy but they clearly think I can do it.’ Or, ‘I’m going to talk to other people who’ve been through this and survived and see what they did.’
6. Decisions
Accepting the change and starting to feel more optimistic. ‘I’m starting to find some things are going well and I’m quite enjoying the job.’ Or ‘When I think about all the times I said I was so miserable in that job, maybe it was the kick start I needed to find something that’s a better fit for me.’
7. Integration
At this point you’ll be acclimatising to your new role or situation so it becomes part of normal life. ‘Now I’m getting used to what’s expected of me this feels more comfortable.‘ Or ‘This new job is so much better than my last role.’
Recalling the Change Curve before, or as you are going through a major life change can be helpful. Whilst you can’t predict exactly how you’ll feel- or how long it will take you to go through the curve, appreciating that you will come through it is reassuring.
Bear in mind too, that you may swing back and forth through the stages rather than progressing to each in turn.
Consider what support may be helpful to you and reach out to ask for this. Sourcing support, especially through stages 1-5 can be particularly helpful. Different people may offer different kinds of support. TLC and compassion will serve you well early on; cheerleaders come into their own as you start to experiment, make decisions and implement actions.
Almost everyone I’ve spoken to about significant career changes -both changes they’ve actively sought out and those they haven’t such as an unexpected redundancy, have all ‘made it’ through the curve and arrived at the other end wiser and happier.
Dealing with future changes-within or beyond your control:
Think about a major life change you’ve experienced.
- How did you handle it?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- How could you handle a major change better in future?
Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by discomforts.
Arnold Bennett.
