How to be happy: stop trying to manage time

In my last post, How to let go of the need to control I wrote about the benefits of displacement activity.  Jobs such as tidying the house help me regain a sense of control when my day job feels overwhelming. However, even with the creation of my new Trello task management system, I have the nagging feeling that a tsunami of e mails could easily undermine my efforts to stay on top.

This week, serendipitously, a colleague recommended Oliver Burkeman’s ‘4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.’ In his book, the author explores the concept of time and how we attempt to manage it. He turns our modern day concept of time management on its head, suggesting that our attempts to control time are completely futile.

Key take-aways:

1. Time is finite

4,000 weeks is the length of time we have on earth if we live to be 80. Our time is limited. Yet we  ignore our mortality, seeking distraction through keeping busy. However, by acknowledging our finitude, we can focus on the precious time we do have. We can choose to invest time in activities that are important to us and with people we care about.

     2. Time is money

Compulsion to make the most of our time has led many of us to focus on success rather than meaning. We strive to hit targets, win contracts and capture tangible impacts. The more we strive, the busier we become. The harder we work to conquer time, the more anxious we become. The more anxious we become the harder we work.

     3. Shift your perspective

There will never be enough time to complete your ‘To Do’ list. Managing time is a race you can’t win. Instead, prioritise a smaller number of activities that matter most to you. Inevitably that means accepting some things won’t get done.

     4. Beware distractions

Inevitably, when you do decide to focus on a smaller number of tasks, it’s human nature to become distracted by e mails and social media. The important task you’re attempting to focus on may be difficult. However, being aware of this will help you push through discomfort. It will prove more fulfilling once you’ve completed it. Tasks always take longer than you imagine. Focus on fewer tasks and engage with them fully.

    5. We aren’t good at relaxing

We are forever thinking of more productive ways of spending our time rather than relaxing. The author suggests we take up hobbies. We don’t need to be skilled at them- we just need to find them absorbing. Spending more time with family and friends is more enjoyable and better for our wellbeing than in solitary introspection.

   6. Accept your cosmic insignificance

By embracing our mortality we can give ourselves permission to  focus on what matters to us in the here and now. That is, as long we can let go of our egocentric world view. In the eyes of the universe, pursuing any goal that matters to you is a worthwhile way to spend your 4,000 weeks. The universe is not judging you.

So why not experiment, as I will be doing, by stepping off the treadmill and limiting your focus to the things that matter most. Having deep and meaningful conversations as I did earlier today with a good friend.  Immersing myself in novels rather than self-improvement books and smelling the roses rather than counting them.