Breaking the Bias. Men: know your place

The theme of this year’s International Women’s Day was ‘Breaking the Bias…removing those barriers in the workplace that would enable women to flourish.

Significant energy has been invested in how women can ‘fix’ their deficits, whether it’s through confidence training, developing assertiveness skills or dealing with Imposter Phenomenon.

Change needs to come not by ‘fixing’ women but through seismic changes to workplace culture and to organisational structures and processes- and for men taking responsibility for their behaviour.

A quick glance at the Gender Pay Gap data reveals that significant differences in pay- and that these have worsened during COVID. Boardroom representation is improving; 2022 shows women make up nearly 40% of FTSE Top 100 top table roles. However, a derisory 8% are CEOs.

As a starting point, I propose that recruiters address male workplace behaviour, rather than sending women on confidence training courses. Confidence does not signify capability. There are plenty of mediocre men in senior roles illustrating that.

Emma Duncan in a recent ‘Times’ article suggested that men should  attend humility training courses. She says ‘It’s not the women who need confidence training, it’s the chaps – the 10% who take up 90% of the airtime- who need humility training. Men should be taught not to interrupt…that the sound of their voice is appealing only to them. Loudly repeating points other, quieter people have already made is not useful.’

I think Emma is being generous. In Higher Education I would suggest the eligible proportion is quite a bit higher than 10%.

Inspired by this suggestion I have designed a tongue-in cheek  Humility training course.

Men- Know Your Place.

Always rushing to fill a void in the conversation? Enjoy the timbre and resonance of your own voice more than listening to others? Like to indulge women by nodding patronisingly when they speak and then taking credit for their suggestions by repeating them back as your own? Like to take all the space and those of others around the table? Skilled in the art of interrupting others? Then this is the course for you!

Develop your self -awareness and improve your contributions and those of others. You will be assessed (we know you can’t resist a competition!) by others observing and recording your performance in a meeting against the following criteria.

The number of people in the meeting will be divided by the number of minutes available. Each person is made aware of their respective time limit. If a buzzer goes off and you are tapped on the shoulder, your time is up and you must stop speaking for the duration of the meeting.

Points will be deducted for the following:
  • Interruptions
  • Continuing to talk over female  colleagues while they are trying to make a point
  • Belittling or disregarding contributions made by female colleagues
  • Unnecessary use of jargon to baffle
  • Making irrelevant points in order to attract attention to yourself while not adding anything of value
  • Mansplaining*
You will gain points for:
  • Encouraging contributions from female colleagues
  • Actively listening to what they and others say
  • Recognising and endorsing valuable suggestions from female colleagues
  • Challenging male colleagues for any of the behaviours from the first list

After the meeting, you will review your video performance with a coach. He/she will share your scores with you and develop an action plan of areas for improvement. A follow-up observation will take place a month later and the process repeated. Your scores and feedback on areas for development will then be shared with your line manager. If improvements are not made- though we are confident they will be- you will be required attend the course again.

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Future posts will explore what organisations should do to address the gender pay gap. Women must not be required to do the heavy lifting alone.

*Image credit: Kim Goodwin

By Anne

Author: Anne I am an award-winning Springboard women's development trainer and professionally qualified careers consultant with many years' experience in management and leadership roles. I'm a qualified Strengths practitioner, and coach. I deliver strengths training to both staff and leadership teams. You can follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/wilsonanne/

2 comments

  1. Anne: I commend you for your excellent course outline! Can you be clear about whether this will be run my a male or female trainers? Is it possible that male trainers might collude with the participants, creating a cozy atmosphere and attempt to big up their scores from List 2? Maybe they might need to impress someone in authority with how well the course is being received by the participants and simply write their own evaluations and testimonials? Would they be able to be unbiased in providing scoring and coaching, when some participants might score better than they did themselves? Would they be clear that they could become a trainer for Men – Know Your Place programmes without ever have attended an actual programme themselves? Or maybe there is an advanced course that might follow: Men – Behaving Better. Just some thoughts to ensure that you have trainers that look like they know what they are doing for your exciting new product.

    1. Sue- I am glad you approve! Yes- indeed there would a risk of a real echo chamber, wouldn’t there? I think it might be helpful to build in nominations for men to attend the course in the first place, with more than 3 nominations leading to a priority training place. Perhaps the addition of a female ‘buddy’ to ensure modelling of good practice continues? I love the notion of a ‘progression course.’! Perhaps there could be an annual ‘Modesty Awards’ for men? They wouldn’t be expected to attend in person, of course, with virtue being its own reward.

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