In Improving your career prospects with one magic word, I explored some of the risks of saying ‘yes’ to non-promotable tasks or NPTs. In How to make sure your time is well-spent at work I outlined how to audit where your time goes so you can see whether you have over-committed to NPTs.
In This post I focus on the different ways to say ‘no‘ to activities that risk impacting on your career progression. Some of these approaches approaches are explored in more detail ‘The No Club: Putting a Stop to Women’s dead-End Work’.
It’s all too easy to be flattered into accepting a request. Saying ‘no‘ can feel uncomfortable. Women are conditioned to be people-pleasers and while this can help to avoid conflict, you can easily fall into the trap of over-committing. There is also a double-bind; both men and women have been conditioned to expect women to offer to take on additional NPTs. How you frame your ‘no’ is therefore important as you may be defying gendered expectations.
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Make sure you understand the task
It’s important to find out what exactly a task will entail. Before accepting, establish:
- How much time will it take?
- Will it impact on your other work?
- Whether you can speak to the staff member who currently performs the task. They will give you a realistic view of the time needed.
If you’ve already audited your time, it will be easy to see whether this is something you could do and also whether you would want to do it.
If its’ not, you can then respond by saying something like “thank you for asking me. That’s not something I’m able to commit to with my current workload.”
If you’ve had a conversation with your Line Manager about the request, they might well be happy for you to respond with “That’s not something I’m able to do. my Line Manager has advised me that my current work priorities must take priority.”
2. Who is asking?
Tempting though it might be to respond with a ‘no’ to a request from a senior member of staff, you will need to bear in mind the politics of your organisation. Often you may have little choice in the matter. Discuss the request with your Line Manager. She will establish whether this should take precedence over your other work commitments. If she feels it’s not appropriate or your other work is more pressing she should advocate for you and either suggest someone else does the work or provide the person asking with a realistic time frame so they can consider whether they are able to wait or will need to ask someone else.
3. What’s the cost?
Contemplating the impact of taking on additional work- for example being given a last-minute urgent request late on a Friday afternoon which would mean working over the weekend to get it done, eating into time with family/loved ones should be a firm ‘No.’ If that sounds too blunt, you could say “that won’t work for me” or “that’s not possible.” Either way, there should be no ambiguity in your reply. Any embellishment will weaken your ‘no’.
4. It’s a waiting game
When in a meeting and the Chair asks for a volunteer for a task, live with the discomfort of the tumbleweed moment where everyone hopes someone else will break the silence. Hold your nerve and don’t respond.
If you are e-mailed and asked to volunteer, one option is not to reply. If you do, you open up the risk that the person who initiated the request will come back and lean on you in the hopes they can wear you down.
5. Make a counter-offer
Bearing in mind that if others are expecting you to volunteer for more NTPs, a more acceptable way to say ‘no’ is to offer an alternative.
You might say, “that’s not something I’m able to support. However I do know someone who may be able to help.” Or, you could offer I‘m not in a position to help for the next four weeks. However, if the request can wait I could help you then.” You could say “I am happy to take the meeting minutes but propose we have a rota so all staff take a turn.” This keeps the request time-limited. You are being helpful but are also safeguarding your time and proposing to share work more equitably.
6. Avoiding an ambush
Finding yourself being ‘volunteered’ to complete work in a meeting is frustrating. Objecting in the meeting risks the requestee losing face, so consider your approach. You might buy time and say “I’ll get back to you on that.” If a request is for a recurring activity, for example organising a staff social, you might suggest it’s time for someone else to take a turn. Look at the agenda beforehand and have a quiet word with the Chair to let her know you aren’t in a position to agree to any additional work requests.
In conclusion
Consider how you respond to those colleagues who refuse additional work requests. People who manage their boundaries are often those you respect. Keep practising your “no’s” until they become a standard part of your vocabulary.
“No” is a complete sentence. Annie Lamott
